You love your smartphone, but your kids might not.
An observational study by pediatrician Jenny Radesky indicates that many parents are depriving their children in favor of their phones, and that such techno-addiction can harm the kids.
When Radesky worked at a clinic in a high-tech savvy neighborhood, NPR reported, she realized how often parents ignored their kids while engaged with their mobile device. One mother kept her phone in the stroller between herself and the baby. "The baby was making faces and smiling at the mom," Radesky told NPR, "and the mom wasn't picking up any of it; she was just watching a YouTube video."
That gave Radesky the idea to study 55 different groups of parents and young children eating at fast food restaurants. Forty of the adults pulled out a mobile device immediately, and used it during most of the meal.
That’s bad for kids, Radesky said, because face-to-face interaction is how children learn language, emotional responses and how to regulate them. "They learn by watching us how to have a conversation, how to read other people's facial expressions,” she told NPR. “And if that's not happening, children are missing out on important development milestones."
Is anyone surprised that Radesky and the other researchers observed that kids whose parents were most absorbed in their devices were more likely to act out, trying to get their parents' attention?
Although her research was more of an anthropological observation than solid science, it was published in the journal Pediatrics.
According to Catherine Steiner-Adair, author of “The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships the Digital Age,” when a parent’s priority is a digital device, there can be significant emotional consequences for the child. "We are behaving in ways that certainly tell children they don't matter, they're not interesting to us, they're not as compelling as anybody, anything, that may interrupt our time with them," she told NPR.
In her research, Steiner-Adair interviewed 1,000 children between 4 and 18 about their parents' use of mobile devices. Several reactions were common: "sad, mad, angry and lonely." Some kids told how they threw their parent's phone into the toilet, put it in the oven or otherwise hid it. One girl said, "I feel like I'm just boring. I'm boring my dad because he will take any text, any call, any time — even on the ski lift!"
Steiner-Adair said it’s not known when the cumulative moments of disconnect between a parent and a child begin to affect the youngster in the long term. So she hopes, before reflexively answering the phone, sending a text or reading email, that parents would make a thoughtful choice between paying attention a mobile device or to their children. If your default is to choose technology over children, you need to rethink your priorities.